Finding My Happiness
Finding My Happiness
Recently, I have found myself being the happiest I have been for a very long time and a lot of that is because I have found the confidence to make change.
My anxiety has meant that for a long time I was too nervous to make change. The 'what ifs' outweighed opportunity and unhappiness. But over the past year I've realised how driven I am to succeed and nothing is going to stand in my way of creating a life I love. What that has meant is I have had to find the courage to make change.
I started university in Leicester but it wasn't right for me on many levels, but in particular living so far from home and being in halls. I was so unhappy and made the choice to change universities and move closer to home. Luckily I am now studying for a degree I love and live with my boyfriend in my own little flat that feels like home.
I've also recently started a new job. The spa I was working at was beautiful, but I was spending a lot of time in the kitchen and cleaning which was not want I wanted to be doing. The old Lucy would have sucked it up and got on with it, but I've learnt that if somethings not right I need to find the courage to change. And I'm so happy I did. I've got a job I never dreamt I would get and although I haven't been there long, I have never felt so happy in the workplace. When my alarm goes off at 7.30am on a Saturday I'm more than happy to get out of bed... and that's saying something!
Being happy has also meant that I have had to let go of the past and make positive change for the future. With a lot of people I knew moving on and away from our home town, I felt a little like I had lost my position in part of a friendship group. I wasn't invited to parties and felt like a lot of friends were so busy with their new lives that I had been left behind. I also felt that because I didn't live in halls or a student house and missed out on Freshers that I didn't have friends at uni. It's meant I've had to put myself out there more than I ever have and I'm so glad because I have made some of the most lovely friends on my course at university. Of course I will always have the special people who I know will always be in my life and although it has been an adjustment no longer seeing them regularly, I do know they will always be there.
The other major factor in my happiness is how I feel in my appearance. I don't think I'll ever be fully happy in the way I look, but I am learning to be more confident. Changing the way I present myself, no longer being introverted and shy, but letting my inner confidence shine, has meant I do feel happier in the way other people see me as a person. Being more adventurous with my style and having the confidence to try new things has also made a massive difference.
And of course, Matt. Beyond anything else I feel so lucky that I have found the one person who understands me and brings me happiness every single day.