Confessions of a National Trust Tea Room Employee

15 Confessions of a National Trust Tea Room Employee

1. Asking for 'just a coffee' is very unhelpful when we serve 8 types.

2. Being a NT Life Member does not make you fully fledged blue blood royalty, nor does it allow you to treat me like a servant, please stop talking to me like it does. "Please" wouldn't go a miss.

3. I know you think you're helping, but bringing your dirty tray back to the kiosk really does not help, we still have to carry it back.

4. If we're really busy please don't stand in the queue for 20 minutes before then studying the menu trying to decide between Shepherds Pie and Chicken Broth (FYI neither are great...)

Bonus points if you hold the queue up because you're friends just 'popped to the loo' and you don't know what flavour tea they wan.

5. If it says 'Sold Out' we're not lying, it really is sold out.

6. Everyone who works here hates half term with the billion bratty kids that sulk until they're allowed to stuff their faces with cake and then proceed to puke it up (oh we have to clear that up too).

7. Talking of cleaning up, we really appreciate it when you make as much mess as possible, especially when you leave used tissues on your tray.

8. It would really help if you displayed the table number we give you so we can find you when your food is ready. (Don't get cross when you food is lukewarm because we've been walking around like a muppet looking for table 12 when the table number is faced down or under a pile of coats).

9. We know it's nice to get that free 10th hot drink but seriously people they're loyalty cards not gold dust.

10. Yet again I am very sorry we cannot heat up your sausage roll, we're not allowed, as we said there is a microwave in the seating area *insert daggers*.

11. The cute little jugs we fill up with milk? Do help yourself, don't fill up your mug then leave the empty jugs for the next customer to complain to us about.

12. The NT garden is beautiful, we get that. We also get that everyone decides to come out on the same day. Don't get angry at us when you have to queue.

13. Talking of being busy, when you can see we're rushed off our feet it is not the time to ask us to go back up to the counter to get the butter you've forgotten, nor is it time to have a go at us about something utterly trivial like a lack of icing sugar on a shortbread. I will tell you to get over it.

14. I've heard multiple children called Hugo asking mummy for a Ginger Beer. We also get a lot of yummy mummies who do nothing but drink skinny cappuccinos and chat about how fabulous they are for giving birth to a screaming, shitting, small human.

15. And DEFINITELY do not walk in at 4:59pm and expect to be served. Or hang around half an hour after closing, we can't go until you do. Don't be that person.